How to Handle Client Projections: What It Really Takes to Hold Space for Deep Healing
- Stephanie Burg
- Jun 8
- 3 min read
I never got into coaching & healing work thinking the shit would hit the fan…
I thought—if I could just create safe, sweet, loving, beautiful spaces where everyone felt welcomed…
That it would be enough to support my clients to heal.
And sure, sometimes that’s what happens.
What no one told me was- the deeper the medicine you carry, the more likely it is for big, uncomfortable things to surface alongside you in your work.
Clients who don’t like boundaries and try to disrupt an entire group.
Wounds around money that subconsciously trigger power dynamics—where the client feels helpless & makes that your fault.
Jealousy and sisterhood wounds where, as the space holder, you’re simultaneously drawn in & pushed away—put on a pedestal, then demonized.
Grief. Rage. Shame. Unprocessed childhood imprints & trauma.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable.
No, it’s not easy.
And if you’re afraid of that?
You might be in the wrong business.
There’s an unspoken pressure for healing practitioners to keep it "all contained".
To hold a “regulated” space.
To keep people from breaking down, flipping out, or spiraling into a dark night of the soul.
But if there’s anything I’ve learned from my work & ongoing apprenticeship with the plants, it’s this:
The deeper the work goes, the more likely you’ll touch the very thing your client has spent their whole life trying to avoid.
Healing is not about keeping things together, but being willing to let things fall apart...
While equipping and empowering our clients to be self-responsible,
To find safety in being held while learning to hold themselves.
Not controlling the room or keeping people calm, but being able to sit in the depths with them.
Not needing it to be anything other than what it is: their healing.
What I didn’t know in the beginning was that challenges with clients didn’t mean anything about me.
What mattered was how I handled them.
If you’re trying to keep the work calm, palatable, and pretty...
If you flinch when the projections come and overcompensate to fix them…
If you’re secretly hoping everyone stays regulated and sweet…
Or worse—if you’re reacting from YOUR wounding, creating more karma in your relationship with THEIR wounds & projections...
You miss the point.
You end up reinforcing your client’s old patterns of betrayal and mistrust.
You end up dancing around the exact thing they came to you for help with.
If you haven’t accessed a certain level of healing within yourself...
...it WILL be impossible to go that deep in your work with others.
Here’s what I know now (while constantly being a student):
If you want to hold powerful spaces—
If you want to offer deep, real, life-changing work—
You don't simply need to learn how to handle your client's projections...
...you have to learn to work with your client's unprocessed relational wounds.
You’ve got to know how to stay present when someone’s breaking.
To track what’s actually happening beneath the surface.
To trust yourself, even when someone is projecting all their unprocessed mother/father/authority stuff onto you.
You’ve got to be willing to let the shit hit the fan.
To sit with people in their chaos without trying to fix or manage it.
To stay grounded when someone is coming undone.
To not flinch when it gets messy.
Because that moment?
That’s often where the real healing lies.
And no, it’s not easy.
But the ones who can stay present in the storm—
The ones who can sit with what’s real, without needing it to look perfect or change it just to make themselves more comfortable—
Those are the ones who carry the deepest medicine and it takes time, depth & experience to cultivate.
If you’re a woman who knows her work is meant to be more powerful…
If you want to go deeper but feel afraid of what might come up in your sessions…
You’re not alone.
But please hear this:
You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to be willing.
To be present.
To trust yourself.
To keep showing up.
And to be COMMITTED to going deeper in your own healing...
...so you can truly show up as the change that shows your clients it’s possible.
The depth you want to hold starts with your own willingness to sit in the fire.
And I promise—when you do, the transformation that becomes possible is beyond what you can imagine.
You’re not “JUST” a guide.
You’re a template for your client’s deepest relational healing.
If you're struggling with client projections, boundary issues, or the intensity that comes with holding deep spaces, let's chat about it in a 1:1 session. We'll get to the root of what's happening, strengthen your capacity to navigate it, and build the confidence you need to lead from your embodied wisdom.
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