Embodied Self-Trust: How I Created a Life That’s Truly Mine

A ballet dancer strikes a graceful and emotive pose on stage, illuminated against a dark background.

When I decided to pursue a dance career, I was 17.

I remember the exact moment, in the middle of ballet class at my high school dance studio, thinking, “I could really pursue this for my career, I love it that much.” 

Up until that point, I had never even considered it. I had many teachers who said I couldn’t make it- my shoulders were too broad, the insteps of my feet not high enough, my weight never low enough, my musicality very poor…

My mother often reminded me of my teacher’s critiques, taunting me with nicknames created out of my teacher's critiques, or highlighting my weight when our arguments became heated.

After a certain age, my parents rarely came to see me perform & often shared their disapproval & criticism of what became my life, my passion, and personal ecosystem. 

My grandparents rejected the idea of dance as a career, transferring their own fear and beliefs: art is an unreliable career choice, not a real job, and certainly not something you could count on to pay the bills. 

Years later, when my car got repossessed because I couldn’t afford the $173 monthly payment and had to borrow money from a friend with a trust fund to reclaim it, I swore they must’ve been right. 

What I am only now coming to understand is how I could be so unwaveringly persistent and resilient along the way. I knew in my bones dancing was a part of my purpose, and I wouldn’t be swayed. 

I focused on the joy and expression I felt when dancing and somehow, kept moving forward, eventually creating a 10+ year professional career out of the embodied self-trust & intuitive hit 17-year-old me felt all those years prior.

Somewhere within, I knew I was capable despite tons of naysayers, including my family.  

I fought. I worked multiple jobs, sometimes barely having money for groceries or working from 9 AM to 10 PM...

I invested my mind, body, and soul into the truth I felt within, and I made it happen. 

This same embodied self-trust continues to guide me today...

Looking back, I recognize all of the guardian Earth Angels I had along the way:

-the TWO sets of husband and wife teams who, at different times, became my mentors, coaches, advocates, and the stand-in for my family’s approval 

-the colleagues and friends who shared my passion & cheered me on

-The company director who gave me my first leading role as a professional dancer

-the man I would marry, who loved dance before we met, and celebrated my gift every step of the way

Sometimes you have to fight for the things you love. 

Sometimes you have to throw caution, security & fear to the wind and leap heart first into the unknown.

Sometimes, you have to trust yourself more than anyone else will. This is embodied self-trust.

Because your dream,

Your art,

Who you love, 

Your unique expression, 

Who you are and who you want to be matter. Life doesn’t always obey logic or even look the way we think it should, but our bodies, souls, and emotions know when we are on the right track. You get to create all of it.  

And if you have just enough courage to take one step after another, you absolutely can. 

With love,

Stephanie